By Ashley A. Andrews, Esq.

The reflexive answer is “because it tastes good,” right? Well, this is the most basic explanation; however, our very own member, Mike Real, articulately and cohesively explained that there is actually more that goes into the answer to this question than just taste. Specifically, and not surprisingly, there are five, calculated main factors that contribute to why we like junk food: taste hedonics, dynamic contrast, salivary response, rapid food meltdown, and vanishing caloric density. When you eat a few bags of M & M’s in one sitting, all five of these factors have played into why you just binged, don’t feel full and could eat another bag or two.

Before you fall asleep or click to the latest news headlines on the Kardashians, know that Mr. Real broke/dumbed down each of these categories one by one so that even my ten-year-old niece could follow along and not get bored. I believe even Jim Helms stayed awake the entire time so it must have been good.

First, taste hedonics: the sensation of eating the food, the smells, the oral sensation such as the crunch of the potato chips and the fizz of a soda or beer. When you chomp down on a Dorito, the crunch is not just a random effect of cooking a potato; it is actually a well-researched and tested effect meant to lure us unsuspecting humans in. Like Sirens beckoning to sailors in Greek mythology.

Next, dynamic contrast: for example, a type of food that is crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside. Think of an Oreo cookie, or, the reverse, a Twix bar. To test this effect, think of a plain chicken breast. Boring, right? Now, think of a chicken breast smothered in rich barbecue sauce. Ding, ding, ding! Winner! This is the effect of dynamic contrast.

Salivary response is self-explanatory. Think about how much you salivate when eating a piece of celery? Now, a piece of chocolate. Your mouth waters over the chocolate, right?

Finally, it seems that rapid food meltdown and vanishing caloric density can be combined. Basically, junk food is made, repeat, made, to melt in your mouth. One of the reasons for this is because a food that melts down quickly does not dull your senses, so you can eat more of it.

Junk food, of course, also has the perfect combination of sugar, salt and fat. As if 1-5 were not enough, this is the final nail in the coffin. Brain scans have shown low activity with veggies and high activity with desserts, so, we are programmed to like pleasurable food. Because we have a food choice in America, versus a Third World Country, our brains will calculate how much pleasure is associated with each food choice and then facilitate a choice with the most pleasure.

Mr. Real shared some sobering statistics: 6 billion dollars is spent every year on snack foods, which is more than the gross domestic product of any country in the world. 4.5 billion potatoes are sold each year. The average American eats 60 pounds of potatoes a year. French fries and soda are the most profitable forms of junk foods.

Mr. Real then analyzed some specific junk foods to better help us understand why they are so tempting: chips (loaded with taste active solutions such as salt, msg and sugar and melt down quickly), vanilla ice cream (high in calories, melts in your mouth quickly and contains casomorphins, which turn out to be addictive substances form from milk proteins), the more added to ice cream, such as chocolate, the more addictive it becomes, gourmet coffee (has a higher caffeine content and because of the 19,000 different combinations of beans one could go to, say, Starbucks every day and not experience the same dynamic contrast), popcorn ( melts down quickly), Krispy Kreme donuts (dynamic contrast because icing covers the entire donut, and high in calories), hamburgers (meat satisfies the pleasurable side, the sauce increases salivation and lubrication; and, the bun encourages insulin surges and overeating), and pizza ( salty, textural variety so the senses do not get dulled, and casomorphins).

To Jim Rider and Mike Ojeda’s chagrin, Mr. Real sadly broke the news that chocolate is not a food group. Jim Rider had to be rocked in the corner, however, Mike Ojeda took it like a man. Even more good news, other than the addictive properties of casomorphins, cocoa powder has psychoactive properties similar to love hormones and marijuana. Some rowdy person in the room thought it would be a good idea to shout out his thoughts on combining chocolate and marijuana and I suspect it was a certain retired dentist in one of the back tables and/or Dave Freeman.

So now that Mr. Real has established that all of author Ray Bradbury’s fears expressed in Fahrenheit 51 are coming true – except through manipulation by junk food and not the government – what do we do? Have our mouths wired shut? Join a monastery and live on bread and water? No, the solution is actually quite simple: eat less and less of it, lose the cravings and genetically re-program yourself. Eat a variety of foods and stick to the rule of five: if it has more than five ingredients, then do not eat it. Do not eat because of stress, find something else to do (that is moral and legal – keep it clean people) – like join Arcadia Rotary, partake in community service, sit at the, um, colorful table in the back of the room at our Arcadia Rotary meetings, go see Dr. Butch Chin for your annual check-up. Add fats, or emulsions, that intensify foods’ flavor, in moderation, consume lean meats, more grains and veggies.

Because Mr. Real is in the food broker industry, he added a few facts about genetically modified foods. Basically, if we do not genetically modify food then we are going to run out. To, say, genetically modify a plant to make it more disease resistant immediately is a whole heck of a lot quicker than waiting decades or centuries for natural selection/creationism to kick in and make the plant stronger. Genetic modification is probably a lot better than the DDT mass sprayed by airplanes on crops when my mom was a kid and most of the Rotarians were in their early forties…back in 1950.

Therefore, the bottom line is, junk food is made to beckon to us; it alters our brain chemistry on purpose and has addictive properties. This was a very sobering talk by Mr. Real who, again, gave an articulate, impassioned and well-meaning presentation on why humans like junk food. While I would like to hope it was fully absorbed, the raid after the presentation, led by Bob Harbicht, on the Oreo cookie and Dorito props left at the podium leaves me skeptical. Mr. Harbicht, I recommend that you speak with Rich Hutton before answering any questions regarding your reckless raid of the sugary props. Anyhow, for further questions, please contact our esteemed member and past-President, Mike Real. Great job, Mr. Real.