Bob Harbicht, finemaster and standup comedian, was quite effective with recognitions on Friday.

Bruce McCallum – His picture appeared in the Star News as part of the upcoming Taste of Arcadia fundraising efforts. Bruce tried to appeal, but really had no chance – $50 – Thanks Bruce!

The following Rotarians were asked to stand: Terry Earll, Rob Granger, Roger Grant, Jim Helms, Mimi Hennessy, Mike Hoey, Art Killian, Jack Lamb, Rosie Mares, Dick Martinez, Jack McRae, Brad Miller, Steve Pelletier, Frank Perini and Aaron Rose – Bob Harbicht was included in the list, but as he was already standing may or may not have mentioned his own name. What do all these Rotarians have in common?  Well they all had perfect attendance for August! The rest of the club was fined $5 each. Ouch! Come to the meeting or make up to maintain your attendance record!

Disclaimer in the event that the NSA is monitoring our communications: The following few paragraphs contain references to terror and terror alert systems, it is my belief that this was all in fun and in no way should be taken seriously (as if Bob would be taken seriously), however kindly cast any suspicion toward Robert C. Harbicht, and not the Arcadia Rotary Club as we are not responsible for the content of his humor.   

Tim Vickery was quizzed about terror alert levels in the United States. He really had no idea – there are 4 levels, Blue – Guarded, Yellow is elevated, Orange means high and red for severe. $75 to Tim.

Next Daniel Yohannes was queried on his knowledge of British terror levels. Turn out there are several, lowest is ‘Miffed’ then ‘Peeved’ followed by ‘irritated’ and ‘a bit cross’  – the British terror level has not been that high since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies ran low. The highest terror alert is ‘Bloody Nuisance” not seen since 1588 when the Brits were threatened by the Spanish Armada. Daniel was assessed $50.

Howell Tyson had a chance to guess at the Scottish terror alert system. Really a pretty easy system – only 2 levels – ‘Pissed off’ and ‘Let’s get the bastards’, easy to see why Scotland is the UK’s front line of defense!   Howell contributed $50.

Marching across Europe, Chris Haddow was given a lesson on the French terror alert system, apparently a simple system, two basic levels ‘Run’ and ‘Hide’, in extreme situations only ‘Collaborate’ and ‘Surrender’ can come into play. There was also a joke about French Military rifles for sale, never fired – dropped once. Remember this is all in good fun! – Thanks Chris for the $50!

Luther Tsinglou learned that the Italians have there own unique four stage terror alert system, starting with ‘Shout Loudly and Excitedly’ increasing to ‘Elaborate Military Posturing’ followed by ‘Ineffective Combat Operations’ and ‘Change Sides’. Luther having no previous knowledge of the system was fined!

Ernie Jensen was up next, lost luggage on an extended trip and his complete lack of understanding of the German terror alert system cost him $100.  But then his inability to contain his obvious excitement about his Grandson born on August 12 cost him another $100. Congratulations Grandpa Ernie!

Bob, good job with the fines! Readers, you really miss a good time when you miss a meeting, why not join us for the ‘live’ version – it’s really much better!

Respectfully posted!

Ray