Have you played Hollywood Squares lately? President Pat Dolphin played today. The squares were made up of Rotarian’s Kathy Ellison, John Wilson, Mike Hoey, Glen Oyoung, Ashley Andrews, Dan Place, Imy Dulake, Mike Ojeda and Pat Barnes.

The object was to determine if squares were telling  the truth or a lie, hence getting 3 “squares” in a row would amount to”winning” an all expenses paid vacation to Pico Rivera, CA. According to Bob Harbricht the game show host, Pat was absolutely, positively terrible at this game.  To our knowledge, tall, good looking President Pat did not get even 1 answer correct.

There were a variety of questions, for example: Barnes was asked if Protons have mass? Barnes said he did not even know they were Catholic… Dulake was asked if it was important to teach our children to be polite and courteous? She said no and Pat guessed yes incorrectly. Ojeda was asked if you don’t succeed at first what should you do? He answered to hide the evidence that you even tried; Dolphin guessed incorrectly, to try again. Hoey was asked if swimming was good exercise to keep toned, he answered it was Perfect, yet President Dolphin answered incorrectly no it was not a good exercise. Place was ask if you should wear lose fitting clothing while exercising, at first noting that if he had any loose fitting clothing, why exercise. Then, all joking aside noted, no its not a good idea.  Again, soon to be “past president” Dolphin answered incorrectly yes.

Oyoung was asked who determines the sex of the child, unfortunately esteemed president Dolphin opined that he thought it was the father, sadly Harbrcht informed him again that he was wrong. John Wilson was asked what the secret to success was, eliminating hard work, wealthy parents, cheeting, he responded that it was a good USC education. Disappointingly Harbicht informed well educated Dolphin that again, his guess was wrong.

Harbicht feeling sorry for well dressed Dolphin, gave an easy question to various “squares”; posing the question What the best indication was that you are in California? The answers varied; you make over $250,000 annually yet cannot afford a house; you have a strong opinion about the best coffee to drink; any low speed car pursuit preempts all TV programming; a light drizzle makes headline news as “Storm Watch 2019”. Once again short timer President Pat Dolphin was clueless.

Presidential short timer Dolphin was then asked if he recalled what he put on his Rotary application for Nearest Relative? he was reminded that he had put down the response of: 7 miles, seriously.

In conclusion and mercifully, Harbricht noted that while soon to be Past President Dolphin had failed miserably at the Hollywood Squares game, he was a wonderful President and all Rotarians agreed, giving Dolphin a hearty round of applause.